Tomorrow

So… Here I am. Standing in my floor’s balcony. The cigarette box is obviously by my side, lately he has been my best friend. Bad for me, good for those who sell them. But that is not the point... The point is that here I am. Standing in my floor’s balcony. With my cigarette box. The city is calm, thank God for that. The moon is high, beautiful, and the stars are by her side, shinning. The music is not too loud, just enough for me to enjoy this cigarette. There are plenty of things running through my mind right now. Can’t talk about them all, because it would hurt people.

I miss home. I miss my mum, I miss my brothers, I miss my friends. Though I’m not going to develop this thought, I just wanted to make sure that I mentioned it, because they do matter to me and they are really important in my life. And I obviously miss them. Like hell.

Amikoly is down stairs, calling me to meet them, I even put “our” song to play, louder. God, she is definitely someone that I’ll never forget either.

Returning to my thoughts... They will always be walking on my mind, but they will never leave my heart. That, I can tell for sure, will never happen. I know!

Alanis is playing now. Relaxing music, pushes me deeper into my mind, makes me want to close my eyes and flavour all the words. Is like I’ve entered paradise. Calm, good vibration, intelligent sentences. “I thought we would be sexy together”, she sings. This makes my mind jump to the past. Pff, that’s just not worth it. Not now.

This temporarily adoptive city of mine (besides making me sweat all day long) has been running crasy (well, crazier, if you allow me) this past few days. Madly noisy traffic, streets full of bagged people. Can’t walk through them. Can’t be one of them...

Well, let’s stop here. “Can’t be one of them”. This is also a very good thought. No one wants to be “another one breaking the wall”, as I recently heard. Hmmm... interesting. Here I am, in a very dysfunctional activity while everyone else is reading, talking, playing football in the streets (as my friends are right now, down stairs). Why? Because I want to be different? Our because I’m just in the “isolation mood”? Most likely the second.

That reminds about my day. I felt very both bad and good today. And while I’m writing this, I believe my deeper brain is figuring out one solution to the problems. Problems that I got myself into and my friends problems, that obviously become my own. And as I’ve a solution for them, they have solution to me. The worst part is that none of us is actually planning on taking that advice (Alanis, in Ironic, sings “Is the good advice that you just didn’t take”). Smart girl btw, bet she didn’t even. I worry about my trouble-friend’s mental health. That brilliant mind of hers. God I do.

Can’t write any longer. My brain is way too shaken up, it was too much for one day. I’m going to sleep now, hopefully in peace, because tomorrow will be much worst.

Tomorrow... James song. I’m gonna leave you with that thought, my beloved friends.

“Gotta keep faith that you’re path will change, gotta keep faith that your luck will change. Tomorrow. Tomorrow...”